Tantamount
by SecretsAndLiesContest
Summary: After Edward moves to Forks, Washington, he's angry at the world. A dare places him in Bella Swan's path, and what transpires that summer is beyond comprehension for the seventeen-year-old. Edward/Bella


**Subject/Email Header: Secrets and Lies Contest Entry**

 **Title: Tantamount**

 **Summary:** **After Edward moves to Forks, Washington, he's angry at the world. A dare places him in Bella Swan's path, and what transpires that summer is beyond comprehension for the seventeen-year-old.**

 **Pairing: Edward/Bella**

 **Rating: M**

 **Word Count: 11649**

 **DISCLAIMER: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is**

 **Intended.**

 ***T***

Forks, Washington, is my home, now; it has been for nine months. Nothing much has changed in that time other than I'm a little more belligerent these days. I don't care to make friends. Mainly, because no one is cool enough. I have acquaintances like my dumbass neighbors Emmett and Jasper. Emmett's a football player—too many hits to the head, I believe. Jasper is his little bitch-sidekick and the team's water boy—enough said. My real home is Seattle, the place I'll move back to after I graduate after I endure another year here.

When Carlisle accepted a job at the local hospital as a trauma doctor, he uprooted us—Mom from her best friends and job as a florist, me from my buddies: Garrett and Seth, and the high school baseball team. I was pissed. Oh, and I was forced to leave behind Tanya, my girlfriend. I see her when I go to Seattle every few months. We hang out and other things that involve clothes on the floor of wherever we are doing the deed. Lately, though, we've been having troubles.

I'm Edward Cullen. I'm cocky by nature because I speak what's on my mind. Some take offense to that, but it's who I am. I've overheard the girls say I'm sexy as hell, but they are afraid to approach me. I'm one-hundred percent fine with that because not one I've seen is my type. Their attention is no different from my last school, so it's whatever; I'm used to it. In Forks though, I keep to myself, mostly listening to music or playing my acoustic guitar or video games to pass the time. I'm not the cock jock like I used to be at my old school. To be honest, I was going to tryout for the baseball team this year but they suck, and I have no desire to be on a losing team.

"Ed!" Emmett claps his hand on my shoulder.

I slam my locker door and give him an elbow in the stomach, not too hard, but he doubles over. The guy never learns.

He coughs a couple times. "What the hell was that for?"

"It's Edward, not Ed, Eddie or Edwardo."

"Point taken. Damn."

"You think my warnings were for shits and grins?" I slide the strap of my backpack over my shoulder and wait for Emmett to regain his composure.

"You're such an asshole."

"Yeah." I nod. I know I'm an asshole—like I give a shit.

Emmett rolls his eyes. "At least you know it."

"What do you want?"

"Did you hear about the keg party at Royce's tonight?"

"I heard." I start walking. I have better things to do on the last day of school than sit and gab like a bunch of hens in front of my locker.

"You going?"

I shrug. The party's not a priority at this point.

Jasper catches up to us. "Hey, you guys going to Royce's tonight?"

"I was just asking Edward if he's going."

"So? You going?" Jasper looks at me.

"Why is it such a big deal?"

One keg, one small town, Goddamn, people act like the president is coming to town.

"End of school party. It's going to be epic," Jasper says. "Girls from Port Angeles will be there, too."

My ears perk up at that bit of info. It's been almost four weeks since I've seen Tanya, and I could use a piece of ass right now. Blue balls suck. I've seen all the girls in this town, and it's slim pickings. Either they're taken or they aren't up to my standards. "I'll think about it."

"Can you give us a ride home?" Jasper asks. "My car's in the shop."

"For money." I'm kidding, but the flat look on my face has them pulling out cash. I take it because I'm broke.

After ten minutes of listening to them drone on, we finally pull into my driveway.

"Have you decided if you're going?" Emmett asks and adds in a selling point. "Free beer."

I have never been much of a drinker because baseball has always been my focus and I've taken training seriously, but since this town has squashed my plans at the sport, I decide free beer sounds pretty good this evening. Plus, I need to get out of the house.

We decide to meet here at eight o'clock and walk to the party since it's on the next block over.

Emmett and Jasper go home, and I pull the trashcan up front the street.

A noise from over the bushes that separates our driveway from the neighbor's catches my attention. I notice the girl next door. She goes to our school but we've still not met. She's nothing special. In fact, I've never given her a second thought. Her hair is just past her shoulders, dark brown and stringy. She's plain, not my type at all.

I give a nod in case she sees me looking her way and put the trashcan next to the garage before going in the house.

"Hi, honey. How was the last day of school?" Mom's holding a vase of pink flowers.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yep. Oh, I'm going out tonight." I ditch my backpack by the stairs and head to the kitchen for some food.

Mom follows me, probably because I've only been out a few times since we moved here.

"Where ya going?" She sets the arrangement down on the counter.

"There's a get-together, next block over." There's no way I'm telling her it's a keg party.

"You going alone?" Her brows furrow. She's been worried I've been unhappy since we've moved to Forks.

"No, with Emmett and Jasper."

"Oh, that's great, sweetie."

Mom smiles and gives me a kiss on my forehead, then picks up her of flowers to go back to the living room.

"Curfew is midnight," she sings over her shoulder as she walks away.

 ***T***

The party is huge. There's a garage band, The Shack Ups. They sound a little like Nirvana except definitely not that good, but they're keeping everyone entertained. I wouldn't be surprised if my parents can hear the festivities from over at our house. A keg is tapped, and a crowd of people surrounds it, taking turns filling their Solo cups. I decide I'll grab one too. I have nothing to lose.

It's crazy how a few beers and a grunge band can loosen a person up. I'm shooting the shit with the guys and barely have time to refill my cup when it's empty. That's okay though because a few girls I haven't seen at our school bring me beer and flirt. They're sexy too—low cut shirts and short skirts that barely cover their asses. It's the first time I've even had a chub since I've moved here.

"That one." Emmett nods to the redhead who keeps looking my way. "She fucks a dude from the rez. I think they date now, so I'd probably leave her alone."

"I could fuck her if I wanted to."

Emmett laughs. "You that positive?"

"One hundred percent."

"Prove it," Jasper says.

"Alright." The beer is in full effect, and this chick has been eye-fucking me all night. I got this.

I shoot a wink across the crowd, and the redhead smiles. I motion with my head for her to come over. She does. It's part of my charm I guess, and Jasper and Emmett flip at how easy I'm getting this bitch over here.

"Hey, beautiful, what's your name?" I run my fingers down the length of her arm and toy with her hand; she smiles.

"Hi, I'm Victoria." She bites her lip. Little does she know she doesn't have to do that for me to want to fuck her.

"Let's get outta here. What do you say?"

My new conquest nods her head.

I look at Jasper and cock my eyebrow. Watch and learn little prick.

I lean into Jasper and whisper. "I'll bring you proof." His eyes widen. I assume no one has ever been this willing to prove a point to him before.

I take Victoria by the hand, leading her to a spot in the woods. It doesn't take long before her hand is down my pants, asking for my cock. I have a condom on and her panties off in seconds, thrusting into her from behind. She's moaning and begging for more, and I shoot my load but not before letting her have an orgasm. I'm not that much of a jerk.

"Thanks, Babe."

"Thank _you."_ She bites her lip again.

I wish she'd quit doing that because it's not gonna get my dick in her anytime in the future. This is a one and done kinda deal.

I discard my condom in the foliage and pull up my jeans. She's leaning against a tree catching her breath, and I give her a cocky grin. I reach for her panties on the ground and hold them to my nose. "Mmm, I think I'll keep these as a souvenir."

"Fine with me, Hot Stuff."

I wait until she's dressed, and we walk back to the party. She goes back to her friends, and I go back to Emmett and Jasper. I throw the panties in Jasper's face. "Done."

"Oh my fuck," Emmett says. "You didn't."

"There's the proof asshole. If you need more than that you can search for the dirty condom in the woods."

"It's all good."

 ***T***

The party winds down after a few hours, but a few stragglers remain, me being one of them. Emmett, Jasper, a guy named Mike, and another dude named Embry are all sitting around in lawn chairs. We're drunk, and that's when things get lit.

"I dare you to—" Jasper pauses, looking at Embry "—strip down to your boxers and run around the house."

We laugh. We're playing truth or dare, but no one is choosing truth. Maybe too many ugly secrets linger in this town.

Embry pulls his shorts and shirt off. We laugh hysterically, so hard we're falling out of our chairs. Embry doesn't wear boxers, or underwear of any type. He's butt naked and takes off running around the house, his dick bouncing in the moonlight. He startles a few girls, and they scream at the sight, making us laugh even harder.

"Whew," Embry says. "That was exhilarating."

"Your turn, Cullen," Emmett says. "Truth or dare."

"Dare."

Emmett leans over to Jasper whispering in his ear. A wicked smile plays on Jasper's face. Whatever Emmett is saying must be a doozy, but I'm not a pussy, so I'll do what it is they ask.

"Okay...you have to—"

Police sirens interrupt what Emmett's going to say, and everyone scatters like roaches. We dart around the bushes and through the trees until we make it back to our block. All three of us are winded and take a seat on my front porch steps.

"So, about that dare," Emmett says.

"Isn't it too late to still be playing this?" The beer has taken its toll, and I'm ready for bed.

"Oh, Edward. You have all summer to complete this one."

Jasper smiles. "I don't think he can pull it off."

I glare at Jasper. "I just proved tonight I can and will accomplish a dare. But, I'm tired of playing little high school games, guys. I'm going to bed."

"How 'bout we add some green to the pot to entice him." Emmett looks at Jasper and they both reach for their wallets.

"Sounds like it's probably illegal or immoral, Emmett." The dare must be bad if they're throwing money into the mix.

Jasper's family is in the oil business and well off, and Emmett's mom is a writer. He had told me one of her fanfiction stories has been published, and now, they're making bank. I have no idea what fanfiction is, but he had tried to explain it, but they both pull a hundred dollar bill out like I'd pull a one.

Emmett takes Jasper's hundred and waves the bills. "Two hundred dollars, payable to you, _if_ you can prove it."

"Shit." I could use some money. There's this guitar I've had my eye on in Port Angeles. "What's the dare?"

"Sleep with Bella."

"Bella?" I ask.

"Your neighbor," Jasper says. "She's not going to be as easy as Victoria, just sayin'."

"That's it? Piece of cake." That Fender will be mine before the end of the summer.

The guys laugh and fist bump; however, I'll be the one laughing once I bag the girl next door.

"Let us know if you go through with it," Emmett says.

"Later, Cullen," Jasper says as he edges away from the porch.

"Later."

 ***T***

This morning I'm moving slow. My head is pounding like a mother. I think mom knows I partied too hard because she wakes me up bright and early, saying she needs my help. Usually, I sleep until noon, but Mom has me pulling vases from the attic. My hangover and I are pissed.

I'm ready to go back to my room when the doorbell rings. To my surprise, the girl from next door is standing there.

"Hi," she says when I open the door.

"Hi."

"I'm Bella. I live next door." She motions toward her house. She's wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt and baggy jeans. Her body type is okay. She has nice boobs and a flat stomach. Her hair is combed today and in a ponytail, but she's not wearing any makeup. Completing my dare won't be too hard if I can look past her homeliness.

"I'm Edward. I live here."

Bella grins and a puff of air leaves her nose. I wasn't trying to be funny. She links her fingers together and twists them, fidgeting.

"Can I help you, Bella?"

"Actually, yes...please. I saw you looking my way yesterday, so I thought I'd come over, finally, and introduce myself among other things."

I lean against the door frame waiting for the climax of this conversation, if there even is one.

"I need some help reaching a box on a shelf in my closet."

"Sounds urgent." I'm totally being sarcastic.

"Kind of. All my favorite books are in that box, and my dad won't be home for about a week to get it down for me. So—" She dips her chin and hesitates a moment then looks up. "—you're tall."

"Yeah." _And you're a rocket scientist._

"Can you help me?"

Ugh, I'm hungover bad. The last thing I want to do is help this girl; however, I could get the ball rolling on the dare.

"Sounds like a predicament."

"Yeah, I'll mostly read this summer. I don't have any big plans as of yet," she adds, rocking back and forth on her feet to her fidgety repertoire.

She's a nervous Nelly _,_ a little boring bookworm. I wonder if she reads porn? I scan her face, and there's not a drop of deviance showing behind those brown eyes, so I doubt it.

"Of course, I'd be glad to help." I clench my jaw. I'm in no mood to help.

"Great. Thanks."

I follow her next door and notice Emmett across the street retrieving the newspaper from his sidewalk. He gives me a big thumbs up and a few hip thrusts. I shake my head. He laughs and jogs back into his house.

Bella offers me some Blue Cherry Kool-Aid before I go. I take her up on the offer and stay a few minutes longer even though I don't want to.

She doesn't take her eyes off me—I can tell in my peripheral. I have a hard time looking her in the face, probably because I'm getting ready to play her, so I pet her cat while we drink our Kool-Aid.

"Thanks again for your help."

"No problem." I take a few steps on the porch then think about the dare and turn around. "Hey, would you like to go to the movies tonight?"

"Oh, um—" her fingers twist together in front of her and she inhales a long breath "—sure I guess.

"Okay, give me your number, and I'll text you movie times."

We exchange numbers, and I go back home. My headache is gone, maybe from the blue food coloring, and now, I'm starving.

With a few PB&J's in my hand and a game on TV, I'm finally able to kick back on the couch and relax. It's not long before there's another knock at my door. I think about not answering it, but it could be Bella needing my help again, and I should look interested.

"Hey, Dude." It's Emmett, and he's flashing those hundreds in my face.

"Thought I'd give you a little incentive."

"I know what two hundred dollars looks like, but thanks."

"Are we still on?"

"Hell yeah. I'm taking her to the movies tonight." I toss my baseball from one hand to the other. I suppose it's a habit, kinda like Bella fiddling with her hands all the time.

Emmett laughs. "The guys will immortalize you, you know."

I huff out a laugh, and we fist bump.

 ***T***

Thankfully, Carlisle gives me a fifty. I'm broke since I can't find a job in this town. He must've been happy I was finally doing something other than staying around the house.

Bella meets me at my truck in a purple knee-length dress. It's not fancy, but it's different from what she usually wears. Her hair is down and combed, which is nice, but there is no sign of makeup. I don't really care to be honest; it's not like we're dating, but I am going to be in public with her, and I have an image to uphold.

"Let's go," I say, motioning toward my truck. I don't open the door for her because for one, this is not a date, and two, I don't do that; it's old school.

I turn the music up on my stereo, so I don't have to make small talk with Bella, but she looks okay with it. I park towards the back of the parking lot and scan the area, making sure I don't see anyone I know. I suggest to Bella that she should grab our seats in the theater while I buy our tickets and popcorn. She agrees, and I take my time, waiting until I know the lights are dimmed in the theater and the previews are playing.

I stand just inside the door letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I spot her all the way in the back.

"Hi." I duck into my seat.

"Are these seats okay?"

"Perfect." I hand her the popcorn and a drink.

"Thanks, popcorn's my favorite." She puts some in her mouth. A few pieces fall to her lap and she flicks them off, hitting the seat in front of us.

I laugh. It's totally something me and my buddies would do, except we'd aim for the back of heads.

During the movie, Bella taps the toe of her shoe on the floor and then grips onto my arm when it's suspenseful. She buries her face there as well when it's too much for her to handle. I don't really mind; I'm the one who wanted to see this movie, so I'll take the repercussions. Plus, it's dark and no one can see us.

"Are you okay?" I whisper.

"Yes, I'm fine."

I don't entirely believe her, but she's a trooper and sticks it out.

"Want to grab an ice cream before we go home?" Bella asks.

I contemplate saying no but decide I need to get this whole thing over with. Spending more time with her will most likely get me that home run way quicker. "Sure, if you want to."

Her face lights up. "My treat."

"Even better." I jab her playfully with my elbow.

Bella chooses a double scoop of triple chocolate peanut butter, and I order a double scoop of rainbow sherbet. We cheers with our cones before eating them and have a contest on who can finish first.

With massive brain freezes, we tie.

"Not a great idea, Edward."

My palms are pushed into my eyes in hopes to relieve some of the pain. "You didn't say no."

"Ugh, I should have," Bella moans.

"Next time, we're not doing this."

"Next time?" she asks.

"Uh huh."

"Okay, it's a date." She gives me a coy smile and wipes the chocolate from her mouth, and I hear her toe tapping the floor in rapid succession.

I didn't think of tonight as a date, just a means to an end, but thankfully, the ball is in motion so it looks like we're hanging out again.

I give Bella a hug in the driveway and watch her walk home. Her dress is wedged in her buttcrack, and now I'm wondering if that's why people were staring at us when we walked back to my truck from the ice cream parlor. I chuckle to myself.

"Goodnight, Bella," I say, then mumble to myself, "This might be harder than I thought."

 ***T***

Emmett and Jasper stop by today. I'm in my room playing PS4, kicking butt and taking names. They make themselves comfortable—Jasper at my desk and Emmett on the floor taking my other controller.

"How was your _date_ last week? Jasper asks.

He makes air quotes when he says _date_. I want to tell him he's a douche but I refrain. There are two hundred dollars riding on this dare, and I don't want either one of the guys reneging.

"It was fun."

"Fun as in…" Emmett motions with his fist to his mouth. His guy gets shot in the head while he's acting like an idiot, game over. "Shit!" He tosses his controller to the carpet.

"A blow job wasn't part of the deal, but I'll gladly accept one." I'm done playing the game and turn off the TV. I switch out my controller for my baseball. My thumb traces the laces and I toss it in the air a few times.

The guys are still laughing.

"What's so funny?" Bella isn't repulsive. She's plain and not my type, but not hideous.

"Nothing," they say in unison.

When Emmett regains his composure he asks, "I thought you'd have this one bagged in no time, Mr. I-can-hook-up-with-anyone-I-want?"

"I'm easing into this. I don't think Bella has ever had a boyfriend let alone had sex." I transfer the baseball quickly from hand to hand. The guys are pissing me off, and the ball is keeping me from punching them in the face.

Emmett has a goofy smile on his face. "Probably not."

"She's not a whore like most of the girls in this town, so gimme some time."

Bella and I have hung out a few times since the movie, watching me shoot hoops and going to Port Angeles to see the Fender I've been eyeing and saving for. We always have a good time, so it's not as awkward. I think things are progressing, and her nerves seem to have calmed the fuck down.

The guys leave, and I text Bella.

 **How about some triple chocolate peanut butter Ice Cream** _ **?**_

She replies right away. _**I can't turn down an offer like that**_ **.**

 **Meet me at my truck in ten minutes.**

 _ **OK.**_

We take our ice cream to the park and sit on the swings. It's muggy in Forks today, and our ice cream is melting quicker than we can eat it. It's running down Bella's chin, and I wipe the drip with my thumb.

"Thanks," she says.

"We should have stayed at the ice cream parlor instead and raced again. It would have been less messy."

Bella takes one more bite then tosses the rest of her cone in the grass beside the swing set. "I like it here. Let's see who can swing the highest?"

"Mkay."

"Loser takes the winner to dinner," she says, pumping her feet, gaining altitude.

"You're on. I'm a competitor so beware." I grip the chain and run backward in the sand, pulling my feet up. It's been a long time since I've been on a swing, so I follow her lead and pump my feet.

"I'm winning." Bella giggles. She's swinging so high, and I realize there's no way I can beat her, but I don't quit.

"Be careful." The chain of the swing slackens when she goes back then makes a hard clanking sound as she swings forward. "You're scaring me."

"Oh, Edward. I'm not scared." She tips her head back laughing. She's carefree. Her hair is blowing in the wind, and she closes her eyes; her feet make her go even higher. "I'm flying."

I swing for a few more minutes then drag my shoes in the sand, watching Bella the whole time. "You win."

"Yay! I never win anything." She slows to a stop. "That was fun. Now, where are you taking me for dinner?"

I laugh. "Tonight?"

Her brows furrow, and the toe of her shoe draws nonsense in the sand. "Oh, do you have plans already?"

"Nope. We can go if you want."

The smile returns to Bella's face. "I want."

The summer has tanned Bella's skin a bit and a few freckles dot her nose. I never really noticed any fine details about her until now, not even the small scar above her right eyebrow.

"How'd you get that?" I touch the scar.

"Oh, that." Her fingers replace mine on the scar. "Middle school. It's no big deal." Bella stares off for a moment and then darts from the swing. "Last one to the car is a rotten egg."

"This time I'm winning." I catch up with her in seconds and tag her rear end with my hand. "Gotcha." I make it to the truck a good fifteen seconds ahead of her.

"You're fast."

"Baseball. Home run King." I tap my chest with my hands.

"I sorta figured you as a home run King." She's winded but manages a playful roll of her eyes.

"When you're good, you're good."

Bella shakes her head. "And stuck up." Her fingers twist nervously like she regrets saying that.

No one has ever called me out for being stuck up. No doubt I'm cocky but, no girl has ever had the balls to say it out loud.

"I'll show you stuck up."

A smile returns to Bella's face when she sees I'm not pissed. I tickle her ribs, and we stumble to the grass. She adorable, trying to get away but also trying to tickle me back.

"Say Uncle." I have her pinned on her back now, and she's in hysterics.

"Uncle! Uncle!"

I let go of Bella, but she stays there holding her stomach, still giggling. I lie down beside her for a few minutes and then we roll until we're face-to-face, staring at one another.

"You're fun, Edward," Bella says then rolls to her side to get up leaving me there watching her. She looks over her shoulder and smiles before getting in the truck. I can't take my eyes off her.

After burgers and fries at the local diner, we head home. On the drive, we talk about hanging out again, but for now, Bella needs to get home and turn in. She has an early morning appointment in Port Angeles again tomorrow.

"Thanks for the fun afternoon and dinner."

"No problem. Thanks for going." I squeeze her hand, and she rocks back and forth from toes to heels a few times before turning around to leave.

"See you later."

I watch her walk home.

 ***T***

It's a Friday, mid-summer, and hotter than hell in Forks. Bella and I have hung out almost every day for four weeks. A distant inkling of the dare sits dormant in the back of my mind, and I shrug it off, mostly because Emmett and Jasper had been out of town the past few weeks, and the cash hasn't been dangling in front of my face every few days. I haven't been back to Seattle either, mainly because I don't have the desire. Tanya has been busy with cheer camp and what-not, so I stick it out here. I ask Bella if she wants to go to La Push to the beach today, so we can cool off and have some fun. 

"I don't have a swimsuit."

"We can just put our feet in the water. I'm not much of a swimmer anyway."

Bella smiles. Her eyes sparkle when she's happy, and I smile back. We've become pretty good friends, and she wraps her arms around me in a hug.

"You're the best, Edward."

"I know."

"You're conceited, too." She tickles my ribs then runs toward her house. "I'll be back. I'm grabbing towels."

I'm in my board shorts waiting in the truck for Bella. When she gets in, I can tell something's wrong.

"Ready." She shuts the door and looks out the window. She's not her cheery self, and she's twisting her hands together like she used too when she was nervous around me.

"Are you okay?"

She shrugs.

"You can tell me if something's wrong."

Bella sighs. "It's my cousin. She's coming to visit in a few weeks."

"That bad, huh?"

Bella shrugs and her feet start tapping.

"Why?"

"She's blonde and tall, beauty-pageant-pretty, so I feel invisible when she's around."

"Blonde?"

Bella's upper lip curls. "Yeah. You have a thing for blondes?" The tapping stops abruptly, and her head snaps in my direction.

"No. Not at all," I lie. I still see Tanya fresh in my mind with her long blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail in her cute, little cheer outfit.

A black cloud of a sigh looms in the truck as her head slowly turns back toward the windshield. She side eyes me. "Whatever."

"Don't be upset. You're great." I truly mean what I say. I touch Bella's hand to console her, and she links her fingers with mine. I don't pull away. She fidgets—tapping and wiggling her fingers around mine. I just drive.

La Push is perfect. I haven't been here, yet, so I take it all in: easy-rolling, white, foamy waves and the salty sea breeze blowing off from the ocean. Bella and I find a spot on the beach and spread out our towels.

"It's nice here," Bella says, sitting down on her beach towel.

She's in long, denim shorts, a tank top, and sunglasses. She pulls her hair into a messy bun, leaving a few strands to blow in the breeze. She opens a can of Coke we bought at the Snack Shack and draws her knees to her chest.

I pull off my shirt and spread the towel out right next to hers. She hands me my Coke, and I pop the top before guzzling half of it in no time.

I burp, but in my defense, I try not too, and the carbonation burns my throat.

"Disgusting."

"Sorry."

We people watch and listen to one of my playlists on iTunes for a while. There are a few things I notice today, one: the sun brings out the reddish hues in Bella's hair and two: she's beautiful.

"Tell me something," Bella says.

"Something."

She slaps my leg. "No, silly. I mean, tell me what your favorite part of summer has been."

"Right now, sitting here with you."

"You're cheesy."

"I know, but hey, I live in the moment."

There's a brilliant smile on her face but she's looking out toward the ocean.

"What's your favorite part?" I ask.

"This."

"Copycat." I poke her playfully in her arm with my finger.

She nods and wiggles her toes under the sand.

After a while, we wonder the beach picking up shells along the way. I see Emmett with Jasper and a few of the guys from school. They're in the water dunking one another like a bunch of idiots. Bella puts her arm through mine and one of the guys sees us and proceeds to whistle and make catcalls. I give them the bird and focus on Bella.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the sweetest guy I've ever met."

"I bet not."

"No. You are. Most people ditch me when they see their other friends. You're not doing that."

I glance down at her, and she's looking at her feet as we walk.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't you ever had a boyfriend?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't fit into the norm. Amongst other things, I'm not a size zero, and I don't slather makeup on. Oh, and I love to eat. I hear guys don't like girls who like food." She laughs. "No offense, but guys are really shallow."

"Some can be for sure." I swallow down a knot in my throat. I'm pretty sure I'm at the top of the list.

Toward nightfall, there's a bonfire on the beach. We didn't bring jackets and it's cool now by the water so we take a walk toward the fire. Emmett, Jasper and some kids from school are there too. They're laughing and I assume it's about me and Bella because they're looking our way. I don't fucking care either, I give them the bird again and keep walking. Once I complete my dare I'll be the one doing all the laughing with a new Fender in my possession.

I've noticed a few girls huddled together giving us weird looks. Bella doesn't seem to pay attention, however, I do and shoot them a wicked glare. I take hold of Bella's hand. "Let's get outta here, 'kay?" _Fucking bitches._

"Oh, sure. Are you tired?"

"Not really. We can grab some dinner if you want."

"Mmm. Fries sound good."

"Fries it is."

We grab our towels, and I drape my arm around Bella's shoulder on our way back to the truck. And honestly, it feels okay. I've become comfortable with her.

Bella lets her hair down on the drive back to Forks. She selects the music on my stereo, soft and sexy, and leans her head back, her fingers tapping slowly on her knees. The night air whips her hair around her face like a beautiful funnel cloud, mile after mile down the stretch of highway.

Once we're in Forks, we order a basket of fries to go from the diner and eat in the truck at the park.

"These have to be the best crinkle cut fries in the entire world," Bella says.

"The world?" I turn in my seat facing her.

"Yes."

"But, if you've never had fries from say...another part of the world, then how can you say that? Plus, there are steak fries, thin-cut, curly ones, too, so that's pretty judgemental, Bella." I dredge a fry in ketchup, but before I stick it into my mouth I dot the end of her nose with it. "You gotta give them all a chance. Even though they're different, they're the same, made out of a potato."

She giggles, wiping the ketchup off with her index finger, sucking it into her mouth—it's kinda hot. "That's true, I guess. I'd need to try other fries to see if I like them...before making my mind up." She rolls her eyes.

"Hey. I'm just saying. Give the others a chance to prove to you they are worthy."

"Biggest cheese ball I've ever met." She takes a sip of the chocolate shake we're sharing.

"Hey, I'm only cheesy with you." My hand smoothes over Bella's suntanned knee. She's soft and my fingers burn white hot on her skin.

Something pulls me to the girl sitting in my truck, or maybe we're both leaning in. It's dark outside but I see her eyes wide with wonder. My lips burn to touch hers and it happens. I forget for a second who I'm with and what I'm doing. I'm gentle, though my heart beats strong. This is foreign—different on so many levels. We're breathing one another in. Seconds seem like minutes when our lips pause. Bella's lashes flutter then close, mine follow. My fingers curl into her beautiful, messy hair. Her head lulls in my hand. Bella's smells delicious—chocolate and sea breeze, and of course the greatest fries in the world. I dare a peek then I know for sure it's the girl next door. I'm here in deceit but also with truth. My mind stills as I breathe in the moment then it runs frantic with desire. The fries fall to the floorboard when she places her hand on my shoulder. _Fuck it_. My mouth opens, and that's the first time I taste salty-sweet. She's timid, but her tongue peeks out. Minutes seem like seconds for a kiss I want to last longer. She moans. I get hard.

"Shit, sorry," I say, pulling away.

"Why?" Her fingertips run over her bottom lip.

I shake my head. "We should get home."

"Is something wrong?"

My eyes shut tight and I see Emmett and Jasper waving cash in my face. I shake my head.

"Okay." There's hurt in her voice. Bella scoops the fries off the floorboard and back into the basket, holding them in her lap. I start the truck. The ten-minute drive home is silent.

"Thanks," Bella says when we get home, her eyes glistening.

I must have hurt her feelings when I stopped kissing her so abruptly, I feel bad. I squeeze her hand and she leaves. I want to ask her if she wants to hang out tomorrow but the words won't come out. I watch her walk home anyway—as usual.

This time I take a seat on my porch and notice when she turns on her bedroom light. I can't see her through her shades but I wish I could. Fuck! What the hell is happening? I sit here and realize I can't play this girl. She's become my friend—or something else—the only person I care to see on the regular since I've moved here, and I'm just now figuring that out.

"Sweetie? You okay?" Mom is at the front door, holding it open.

"Yeah. Long day. I'm going to bed." I brush past her and go straight to my room. I've got a lot on my mind. I need to figure out a plan to fuck over Emmett and Jasper, not the girl.

I'm in my bed. Sleep evades me in a vindictive way, punching me in the gut each time I close my eyes, forcing me to face my asshole ways before I'm allowed to drift off to dreamland. My body is tired or maybe it's my mind that is exhausted from the lie I have agreed to. However, I think I'm falling for the one person I was trying to deceive. The old adage, money is the root of all evil, strikes a loud and obvious cord right now. I have to make this right for me and for Bella if there's ever a chance for us to proceed further with whatever it is happening between us.

I grab my phone. The first text I send is to Tanya.

 **I know this is a dick move but it's over. Have a good summer.**

The second text is to Bella.

 **Goodnight :)**

The first response I get is from Bella.

 _ **Goodnight.**_

The second reply is from Tanya.

 _ **YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!**_

 ***T***

Emmett and Jasper drop by. They come over like clockwork now—every Monday. I'm picking at my guitar, and the guys are Snapchatting.

"I see some progress being made with Bella," Emmett says, sending a Snap. "Saw you two in La Push."

"Yeah. She's nice." I haven't seen Bella since Friday night. I saw her leave early this morning, but I'm not sure she's back yet.

"Nice won't get you two hundred bucks," Jasper says.

Emmett nods. "It's cut and dry, really. Fuck her and the money is yours."

I suck in a deep breath. "Yeah, it's happening tonight." I put my guitar back on it's stand and grab a baseball, tossing it up and catching it, over and over.

"We need proof. Or maybe just a play by play of how it all goes down," Jasper says.

"Alright, deal."

Thank God. I'll make up a story, and no one will be the wiser. I'll get my two hundred bucks, and Bella won't know I agreed to a stupid dare with these fools. The rest of the summer I can relax knowing I didn't fuck her over.

The guys leave, and I stretch out on my bed since sleep has been scarce lately. Bella has been a constant in my head. I have been feeling our friendship moving in another direction—one I hadn't anticipated.

I tap out a text on my phone.

 **Wanna go for ice cream tonight?**

 _ **We just picked up my cousin from the airport. Ugh. Is it okay if she tags along**_ **?**

 **That's fine. Does the beauty queen like ice cream** _ **?**_

 _ **LOL! Too bad if she doesn't.**_

 **Ha ha! See you girls at 7?**

 _ **Yep!**_

 ***T***

"Edward, this is Jane. Jane, this is Edward," Bella says.

I'm standing by my truck, speechless, stunned silent by the beauty in front of me. My eyes are wide, my mouth hanging open. My heart beats wildly under my ribs.

"Edward, are you okay?"

I can't take my eyes off her.

Bella snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Hey, cheese ball."

I blink a few times, and she's still just as stunning.

"Bella, you look beautiful."

"See! I told you with a little makeup you'd knock his socks off," Jane says. "Hi, I'm Jane." She waves her fingers. "I think you missed the introduction."

I huff a laugh. "Yeah, hi, sorry." I shake my head. "It's just that…" I look back at Bella taking her in—everything. Her hair is down and shiny, curled in big, silky flowing waves. I want to run my fingers through them and smear the pale pink lipstick on her pretty lips with mine—kiss her like I did Friday night, only longer. The blue shadow on her eyelids brings out the amber flecks in her brown eyes, which suck me into their depths. She's wearing a long, black dress that shows off her shoulders. The dress is flowy and almost reaches the ground, but I see her tanned leg from the slit in the side and hot pink toes peeking out from underneath.

"We should go," Bella says.

"Oh, yeah." I take her hand. "You really do look amazing tonight."

"Thank you. Jane did my hair and makeup."

I wish Jane would change her mind and go home. I have the urge to drive back to the park to make out with Bella until the sun dips over the horizon, and if she'd let me, even longer than that.

"She did a really good job," I say.

"Bella argued with me saying she didn't want to play dress up, but she's so plain. If she wants to look girly..."

"Stop!" Bella says.

"She's perfect!" I shoot Jane a shitty look. "She doesn't need all this for her beauty to shine."

"I just meant..."

"Don't," Bella says. "Being pretty comes naturally for you. I'm working on feeling comfortable in my own skin, okay?"

"Sorry. Really, I am. I think I'll just leave you two to your date. I kinda have a headache anyway." Jane turns back toward Bella's house.

"Jane, you can come," Bella says.

"No, I'm fine. Have fun, you guys."

I open the truck door for Bella and wait until she's buckled in before closing the door. I don't say it out loud, but I am glad Jane bailed even though I'm not sure why things got so tense between the two.

We get our ice cream to-go and start driving. I head to the one place I think of as our place, the park. We've had a lot of fun here this summer. The sun is dipping and the people at the park are dispersing. Our cones are halfway eaten as we make our second lap around the bike path that surrounds the perimeter. I'm holding Bella's sandals and her arm is linked through mine. It's quiet and comfortable. We haven't been together since Friday, but there's no awkwardness, just two people enjoying ice cream and the pretty scenery.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"Why'd you stop kissing me the other night?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't like it?"

I stop walking, and she turns to me. "Yeah, I liked it."

"Then why'd you stop?"

"I was trying to be respectful."

"Hmm. That's noble."

"Did you like it?"

Her cheeks turn a shade of pink I've never seen on her before and she looks into my eyes. "It was my first kiss," she whispers.

I swallow down that lump again. Maybe Emmett and Jasper know she's a virgin and wanted me to be the one to deflower her— _assholes._ I know one hundred percent that's not going to happen. I like Bella, really like her, and unless Bella and I are committed, I'm not going down that road.

"I liked it, Edward, very much so."

Over the weekend I had time to realize how carefree and real I am around Bella. She has done something to my psyche, mellowing me out, making me see how much fun simple things like parks and ice cream and silly races can be.

I step closer, Vans to toes. "May I kiss you again?"

Bella nods. The bit of ice cream cone she has left falls from her hand.

Her sandals drop from my grip. Our lips touch, this time with absolute purpose. Our bodies are flush; her curves meld to my muscle. Her kiss is ice cream sweet and full of promise. I can't get enough, and she moans when I tilt my head and seek more. I want her so bad. The old me would have had her dress pulled up in minutes and my dick shoved inside her shortly after. The new me wants to take my time and learn her queues, breathe her in and savor her body in my arms.

"Let's get outta here," I whisper against her lips.

"Kay."

We're back in my truck. This time, she's next to me with her hand on my thigh, and I have my arm around her shoulders. We drive until we're at La Push. I back into a parking spot, so the truck bed is facing the water, and I get out to spread a blanket for us. It's gorgeous up ahead but not as much as the girl I'm helping into the back of my truck. The waves crash against the shoreline muffling the soft music on my stereo.

I'm sitting against the cab of the truck and Bella curls next to me. I lean in for another kiss. I coax her to straddle my lap and her dress exposes her thigh. Our kiss escalates. My hand travels the length of her leg to her underwear, her hand stops my pursuit. She kisses harder and more passionately.

My hands smooth over her back and hers roam my chest, then they're in my hair, driving me crazy. I'm dizzy with want yet focused on the girl I thought I'd never have eyes for. We makeout hot and heavy until we're rushing to make curfew. Bella's head leans to my shoulder and our hands are laced together as the wind blows through the truck windows on highway 110.

I kiss her once more on my driveway and promise to meet up tomorrow. She smiles and I watch her walk home—as usual.

After I'm laying in bed, I pull out my phone. The first text is to Bella.

 **Thank you for tonight. It was perfect.**

 _ **You're perfect.**_

 **Goodnight, Bella.**

 _ **Night :)**_

The second text is a group text to Emmett and Jasper.

 **Pay up, bitches.**

 _ **What? No way! -Emmett**_

 _ **No shit? -Jasper**_

 _ **We need blow by blow...no pun intended. -Emmett**_

 **I fucked Bella.**

My gut churns at those words after the most perfect night I had with Bella.

 _ **And who sucked who's dick? LOL LOL LOL -Jasper**_

 **Don't be stupid.**

 _ **Well, inquiring minds need to know. -Emmett**_

 **I took her to La Push. We fucked in the back of the truck.**

 _ **Then who took it in the ass? -Jasper**_

 **What? Are you stupid?**

 _ **You're a liar then. You didn't fuck her. You know you didn't. And you don't get the cash. -Emmett**_

 _ **Bella is Ben, douchebag. -Jasper**_

 **Huh? What the fuck are you talking about?**

 _ **Bella was born with a dick, dude. We used to be good friends when we were little, but when he showed up in middle school, he was sporting long hair, wearing dresses, and calling himself Bella. Lol -Emmett**_

 **No.** My heart sinks to the pit of my bile-filled stomach. There's no way.

 _ **Yes! -Jasper**_

 _ **Yup! -Emmett**_

 **Why did you guys do this?**

 _ **Cause you're an asshole, Asshole! -Emmett**_

I don't respond. I guess I do deserve the name calling, but if what they're saying is true, I'm going to be the laughing stock of Forks.

I send a text to Bella, or Ben. Whoever the fuck she is.

 **Are you awake?**

 _ **Barely.**_

 **We need to talk.**

 _ **Is everything okay?**_

 **I don't know. Meet me in my driveway.**

 _ **Okay. Just a second.**_

I slip out the back door, careful not to wake my parents. Bella's already standing there by my truck in a long night shirt and fuzzy slippers.

"You okay? Bella reaches for my hand, but I shove them deep into the pockets of my shorts. "What's wrong?" The worry on her face is killing me but the doubt in my head is fucking torture.

I stand there staring at her. Scanning her from head to toe, looking for any telltale masculine characteristics. I see round boobs and nipples showing underneath her t-shirt. She's washed her makeup off and looks the same as she has every day we've hung out.

"Edward? Are you okay? You're scaring me."

"I...I don't even know..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I need some answers."

"Oookay." She crosses her arms over her chest, and her night shirt rides up, but not enough for me to see if she's packing boy parts.

"I'm going to tell you something first. I'm not proud of this...not one little bit, but I didn't know you when I agreed, okay?"

"Agreed to what?"

"I, um, I'm not a nice person."

Bella exhales a raggedy breath. "Yes, you are." She reaches for me, but I take a step backward.

"No!" Bella flinches. My head is so fucked up right now, and I'm trying to keep my shit together. "I agreed to something."

"Okay?" Worry lines mar her face.

I take a moment before continuing, wording and rewording in my head what I'm about to say to Bella. I've decided no matter how I sugarcoat what I did, it's going to come out of my mouth like a freight train derailing, so I let the motherfucker derail. "A dare with Emmett and Jasper...involving you."

"Oh, God." She covers her face with her hands.

"It was the last day of school at Royce's. We were drunk and playing truth or dare."

"Let me guess. You're pretending to like me."

"No! I do like you. That's the problem."

"Then what's the big deal?" Her eyes are glistening in the moonlight.

"They offered me money to fuck you."

Bella gasps.

"Yeah. The only problem is I fell for you." I grab at my hair holding on for dear life. "I didn't want to go through with the dare after I got to know you."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Tears pool in her eyes.

"At first, yes." I let go of my hair and press my back against my truck, letting the top ridge of the tailgate dig painfully into my shoulder blades.

Bella's voice quivers. "I thought you were different."

I shake my head. "I told you I'm not a nice person."

"I believe you, now," she whispers as tears make tracks down her cheeks. "I've heard enough."

"No." I watch Bella as she cries. It breaks my heart but I have to have some answers. "About mid-summer, I decided I wasn't going to follow through with the dare because I really like you as a person. We were having fun, more fun than I've had since I moved to this shithole. I decided to fuck Emmett and Jasper over instead. I was going to take their money and buy that guitar I showed you in Port Angeles. But…"

"But...but what, Edward? At some point I was worth less than a dumb guitar?"

I want to wipe the tears from her face and hold her in my arms, but I'm so unsure of everything right now. I have to find out the truth.

"Tonight, we had a good time together. Really good." I scrunch my eyes closed, my mind seeing images of Bella on my lap, my arm around her and my fingers in her hair, kissing. It was good, so, so good. "I wanted to be out from under the dare, so we could move forward, so I sent the guys a text and said I fucked you."

"No." Her voice cracks. "Why?"

"I told you. I was going to fuck them over because I like you, Bella." I pause, not knowing how to start the next part of the conversation before deciding to just blurt it out. "Or…is it Ben?"

She gasps again and her hand flies to her chest, gripping her t-shirt. "I fi...fig...figured you knew."

"Why would you figure that?" My palms are in the air. Anger sparks inside me like a flash of lightning. "Like I should know you have a dick?"

"You're a fu...fucking asshole...just...just like Emmett and Jasper." Her sobs cut the still night, and she falls to her knees, trying to suck in air. "I...I figured they...they told you. They...they've nev...never been any...anything but...but cruel to me, Edward."

I bite my bottom lip at her words until the metallic taste of blood stops me. I don't know which direction to go. I'm mad as hell at the guys for tricking me and madder they've been mean to Bella...or Ben. But, I'm furious the girl I fell for didn't even give me a hint of her previous life. Shit!

"Don't you think that's probably something you should have made sure I knew?"

"See...see this?" Bella brushes her hair from her forehead. "This." She points to the scar above her eye. "This is...is from being punched in...in the face by Jasper! Because—" she pauses "—I'm different."

"What the fuck?" My blood boils as she reveals the reason she has the scar. The scar I noticed when we were having fun at the park after our swing set race.

Bella closes her eyes, inhaling through her nose then releasing the breath from her mouth. She repeats this several times until she can speak. The words come out strangled and slow.

"I guess he's homophobic or something of that nature."

"So, it's true?"

"Yes, Edward. It's true. It hasn't been a secret in this town for a very long time. I was born a boy. But I never once felt like a boy. I'm Bella. I've always been Bella." Tears return, following the same paths as before. "But I suppose you have a problem with that. I should have known you'd be no different"

"You...you should have told me." I'm pacing back and forth from my truck to the grass.

"Like you should have told me you were only hanging out with me to win money for fucking me? Well, here, let me help you get your money." Bella pulls down her underwear. Her shirt still covers her private area. She turns around, grabbing the bed of the truck and leans forward. "Fuck me."

"Bella, no! It's not like that."

She turns around, pulling her underwear back up, her chest heaving as she tries to speak. "I...I haven't had the surgery, yet. If that's what you need to know."

"Oh, my God." I tip my head to the starless night, tears flowing without my consent. "Why did I have to fall for a fucking guy?"

"You fell for me.." Bella wipes her tears. She whispers into the night like the stars are her confidants, "I'm not a guy."

I stand there and watch her walk home. This time she gets to her porch before she turns and looks at me.

"You should take your own advice—" she pauses "—I remember not too long ago you telling me not to be judgemental. You said, 'You gotta give them all a chance. Even though they're different, they're the same.'"

"We were talking about potatoes, Bella, french fries. Not…" I motion toward my shorts.

"I may be cut differently—just like french fries—but, I'm still the same Bella."

"Not the Bella I thought I knew."

"Hypocrite."

Bella runs up the steps. I watch her as usual, then she disappears inside her house.

 ***T***

I stand on the driveway for minutes looking at nothing but thinking about everything. My mind is a frenzy of thoughts, some crazy while others are crazier. Is Bella really a boy? Are Jasper, Emmett and Bella in on some sick joke, plotting against me? Am I living in the Twilight Zone or am I living a reality that won't turn out as I had planned a couple of weeks ago? I turn on my heels and run home—faster than I've ever moved around a baseball diamond. I'm in my room and on my computer quicker than shit. I need legit answers. I'm questioning my sexuality at the moment and feel the ice cream curdle in my gut.

"Come on, mofo." The computer is slow. I'm impatient, so I grab my phone instead.

I know what transgender is, but I need Google to tell me I'm not gay if I've fallen in love with one. I don't feel gay; I don't like dudes—well, if you don't consider Bella a dude. She's got tits but I guess a dick, too, so I'm confused as hell and need to know I'm on the right side of the sexuality fence.

There's article after article, and to be honest, I'm a chicken shit to read any of them. I mutter to myself questioning whether any of the words written on the internet will pertain to my situation anyway.

"I'm not gay. I'm not gay. Please say I'm not gay." I exit out of a blog as quick as I had opened it, before even reading the first sentence. I'm acting like a pussy, I know, but what if it says I'm gay? Wouldn't I know something of this magnitude after seventeen years of being me?

I move to my bed and fall back to my pillow wishing it would swallow me up into a black hole. I lay the phone down and focus on something I know needs to happen—something I do have control over—beating the shit out of Jasper for ever laying a hand on Bella. He will regret touching someone so innocent and leaving a scar. A scar that'll always remind her of how being different can make people hate. The scenarios play out like a movie and each punch I throw and each word I yell in my head feels all too real. My heart pumps furiously, ready to deliver some justice to that fucking piss ant across the street; however, it's three a.m., so I'll have to deal with him tomorrow.

My phone buzzes.

 _ **What's going on up there? Mom**_

 **Nothing.**

 _ **It sounds like thumping. Mom**_

 **Sorry. Goodnight.**

I sit up on my bed and decide finding out if I'm gay or not takes priority over sleep. Not that I could sleep with the shit storm going on in my head anyways, so I open up Google and continue my search.

"Okay. This one," I whisper. _Am I Gay If I Fall In Love With a (MTF) Male to Female Transgender?_ "Oh, God."

I'm terrified and my hands are sweating like I've dipped them in a bucket of water. I bite the bullet and read it anyway.

 _A straight-identified teen wonders if having an MTF (male to female transgender) partner means that he is gay. Figuring out your sexual orientation is complicated for a lot of people, but for someone with a transgender partner, this can raise even more questions._

"Fucking understatement of the year," I say out loud.

I read on with a pounding in my chest, recognizing I could get a reality check I might not want to face.

 _The answer is probably not. Here's the thing, sexual orientation tends to line up with the gender of the person that you are attracted to, not with their biological sex. So, if you identify as straight and are attracted to women, dating someone who is MTF doesn't mean that you are gay._

"YES!" I punch the bed in joyous celebration.

My phone buzzes.

 _ **I heard it again. It's a pounding sound coming from your room. Mom**_

 **Sorry. I dropped my phone on the floor.** So lame.

 _ **It's late, go to bed. Mom**_

 **Goodnight.** Like I can sleep. I just found out I'm not gay.

I close Google and lay back down. I want to text Bella, but I can't. I'm not sure how I feel about hanging out with her like we have been. I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with her still having a dick even though I believe she's a woman in every other sense. And quite frankly, Bella may hate me now, anyway. I'm just as confused as I was before speaking to her but madder than hell at Jasper and Emmett for punking me the way they did.

Tomorrow will be a day of reckoning. Both those assholes better watch out for me because what's coming isn't going to be pretty.

 ***T***

Sleep doesn't happen, so I take a drive to clear my head, and I end up at the park. I grab my baseball and get out of the cab of my truck, making my way to the swing set. It's dawn and the birds are just starting to chirp, and it doesn't take long for the memory to take hold: the image of Bella swinging so high, saying she wasn't scared sears my mind. That was a good day, the day I started realizing there was more than just a dare I was interested in. But things are different now, and it happened in a blink of an eye. With the lie I was living and with the secret she was keeping from me, things could never be the same as they were. In all honesty, I admire Bella for coming out while living in this god-forsaken town. It shows how thick her skin really is. I feel bad for her, yet a big piece of me is pissed off. She should have at least told me she was once Ben. If I had only lived here back then I'd have known that bit of information, and I wouldn't be looking like a fool right now. Emmett and Jasper are probably still laughing their asses off at me.

I squeeze the baseball in my hand so hard the laces leave indentions in my skin. Back home, when I was on the pitcher's mound, throwing pitches and striking out players, it was the most calm I'd ever been. I knew I had every pitch under control and each ball would sail precisely over the plate into the catcher's mitt. Right now, I need some of that calm and confidence to handle this situation with Bella. The way we left things last night was bad, really bad, but I don't know what to from here.

Loud voices redirect my attention. I see someone jogging and a person on a bike next to him. As they get closer to the park I can't believe my eyes. It's Emmett on his daily run with his little bitch-sidekick, Jasper, peddling away—it's my lucky day. I stand up from the swing, rocking back and forth on my feet. Whatever comes over me is best described as instinct. They don't see me, and I want to keep it that way for now. I have the baseball pinched between my fingers in a four-seam grip waiting on the perfect opportunity to confront these fuckers. When they are about sixty feet away, I wind up like it's the World Series, ready to settle a score. I throw a fastball—it's at least a 90 mile per hour ball.

My aim is spot on, as usual, hitting exactly where I had planned—the spokes on Jasper's bike. I watch the crash as if it's in slow motion, an action packed movie I'm directing. Jasper hits the pavement, and his ten speed falls over as he rolls—his hands scraping over the road until he comes to a stop.

Emmett laughs. "What the hell?" He's oblivious as to why Jasper is really on the road in pain. Neither one of them the saw the ball coming. He stands there jogging in place. Jasper isn't making any move to get up.

I run to my truck and start it up. My adrenaline is in overdrive. I want to put my fist in Jasper's face and show Emmett I'm tougher than his dumb, football-playing ass for giving me such a fucked up dare. Instead, I pull up next to the bike crash.

"Looks like you're hurting there, Bro."

Jasper is on the verge of crying. "I don't know what happened."

Emmett is still jogging in place, not making a move to help his friend. _Who needs friends like that?_

I look Jasper square in the eyes. "Karma's a painful little bitch, huh?"

"What'd you do?" Jasper is confused.

Maybe he hit his head when he fell. I don't know and I don't really care either. "I was over by the swings and lost control over one of my baseballs. It must have hit your tire...oops."

Emmett finally pays attention to what's going on in front of him. "You're such an asshole."

"Yep."

"Let's see how cocky you are when everyone in this town finds out you sucked dick. And liked it."

I throw my truck in park and shove open the door with so much force it swings back. I don't let that stop me at all. I'm in Emmett's face in no time. He starts to back up but then bows up, coming back until we are toe to toe and nose to nose.

Without thinking, I bring my left fist around and connect with Emmett's head. He stumbles and almost falls over Jasper, who is still laying in the middle of the road.

My voice is loud and menacing. "You have another thing coming if you think you can fuck with me." I'm ready with my fists up for hit number two, but Emmett doesn't advance. He's standing there heaving, fist clenched like he's thinking of his next move.

Jasper starts to get up. "Em, don't. Just leave him alone. He's a bomb waiting to explode."

"I'll show him an explosion." Emmett takes a few steps forward.

I motion with my hands to my face. "Do it, Pussy."

Emmett takes a swing and I duck. I rise up and surprise with him with a right hook to his jaw and a hard shove to his chest. He stumbles back again, this time falling down next to Jasper.

"Don't you ever mess with me again." I'm pointing in their direction. "And you sure as hell better leave Bella alone. Don't look at her. Don't talk to her. Don't fuck with her at all." I walk over to where the guys lay. "Do you hear me?"

Emmett and Jasper don't move, their eyes are wide; they look terrified. They don't answer, and I don't stick around making sure they understand.

I jump back im my truck and peel off leaving them in a cloud of burnt rubber fumes.

 ***T***

I send a text to Bella.

 **I want you to know I kicked Jasper's ass today. I hope he hurts as much as you did when he punched you. And Emmett got a piece of me too.**

 _ **He didn't hurt me as bad as you did.**_

 **I'm sorry, but I'm not strong enough to handle all of this.**

Maybe in another life or if I wasn't seventeen.

I look at my phone and notice she's typing back. I wait for the reply but it never comes. After a while, I slam my phone on the seat next to me and crank my music.

I can't go home; the thought of seeing Bella hurts too much. No matter how much I care about her, I can't be with her. I may be a coward, but my head and heart aren't on the same page right now—hell, they aren't even on the same planet.

After a call to my mom and some bullshit story, she gives me permission to go stay with my uncle in Seattle. I guide my truck down the highway with the windows wide open and my heart shut tight, glancing in the rearview wondering what might have been.


End file.
